Rat's Ass Podcast

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Welcome My Fiends...

The Rat's Ass Podcast with Mojo Elliott,

is a humorous, interactive, and topic driven cast loaded with loose behavior.

You'll get the latest topicality from current events, pop culture, music, sports, relationship dilemma's plus some weird factoids.

New Episodes post every Monday, Wednesday & Friday

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THE CHEESE: Spring Fever

ENTERTAINMENT: Put On Happy Face

MUSIC: Angus Turns 70

RADIO WARS: Bob Versus Jack
SPORTS: Play Ball!

SPEAKING OF SEX: Circumcised Vs Uncircumcised
2025 DUMBASS AWARDS (So Far)

RAT'S ASS PODCAST

My name is Mojo Elliott, an ex radio programming guru and morning personality from Los Angeles.

After leaving the radio business in 2022, I took a couple of years off and now I'm a podcasting pro and blogging ho.

The Rat's Ass Podcast gives me the opportunity to interact with fiends from all over the world looking to escape reality and engage in some loose behavior. It's not for the easily offended, the woke, or politically correct cultures.

The Rat's Ass Podcast is for normal free thinking individuals who don't give a rat's ass about what other people think.

Email me your observations, questions and opinions to

ratsasspodcast@gmail.com

The more outrageous and salacious the better and I'll respond to them on the podcast.

NO TOPIC IS OFF THE TABLE AND IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO OFFEND ME.

BE ONE OF

THE FEW & THE LOUD!

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ratsasspodcast.com

THE

SPRING FEVER

People always ask me what's it like living in California, and particularly Los Angeles. Everything you've seen on the news is true but the news only focuses on the bad news. Every major city in the United States has its issues but most are not surrounded by beach's, mountains and the desert like Los Angeles. When you get away from the riff raff, Los Angeles is without a doubt the best place to live in the United States....if you can afford it.

I've lived and worked in Southern California since 1986 and I've seen the state prosper under Republican rule and become a shithole under Democratic rule. Fortunately, I live in one of the few places the Democrats haven't turned into a shithole because they all live where I live in and round Malibu. However, the Democrats got a taste of how their policies work during the fires in January which destroyed picturesque Pacific Palisades and along the shore of Malibu.

All of this said, I wouldn't live anywhere else because as a consultant in the radio business from 2007 to 2022, I traveled all over the United States and there is no place like Los Angeles. In a weekend, you could go skiing in the mountains, riding ATV's in the desert and go surfing at the beach all within a 3 hour drive.

I exist in a very tiny bubble that has everything anyone really needs but I do have to get out of my comfort zone if I want to go see a professional or college sporting event. If I want to go to a theme park, I have to travel through some rough area's to get their and they've only got worse since the pandemic. We have a lot of vacant buildings in Los Angeles and where I live because the small business owner has been driven out. It's the way of the new world and we have no choice but to accept it.

When I came here in the 80;s, it was fun to hang out in Hollywood or downtown Los Angeles, any time of day. Now you couldn't pay me enough to walk the streets of either and this includes Beverly Hills, Santa Monica, Venice Beach, Manhattan Beach, and Redondo Beach where I first lived when I first moved to California.

I hold out hope that one day, California sees the error of it's ways and turns red again but the Democrats have set the system up so they never lose another election. However, I am starting to feel the tide changing and it will take a ground swell to unset the Democratic party and that's what it will take to put California back on the path to where it doesn't feel like a separate country from the rest of the United States.

PUT ON HAPPY FACE

It might be me but I'm finding it harder and harder to find good shows to stream anymore. I have pretty much stopped going to the movies because most films are about the effects and not the story. Personally, I like a good story first and if the effects enhance the story, all the better. Eventually what shows in theaters makes it way to streaming and it only stands to reason, it will be harder and harder to find good content I haven't seen already.

I found a needle in a haystack thanks to my neighbor who's son plays Max in the Paramount Plus show Happy Face starring Dennis Quaid, who has been one of my favorite actors for years. It's based on the true story about the Happy Face serial killer and the first two episodes out of eight in the series are available now.

The story revolves around serial killer Keith Jesperson, and his daughter who he had a close relationship with until he was finally caught as the Happy Face killer.The story unfolds years later when Jesperson, serving life in prison, reaches out to his daughter who is working as a makeup artist for a popular TV show. Jesperson attempts to use her profession to feed his narcissistic ego and his desire to seek fame from the murders he committed.

I typically don't go in for this type of content, but after the first episode I'm hooked because typically if a show hooks you out of the gate, it only gets better towards the end. It's currently a Top 5 rated show on Prime. The acting is exceptional and the story is a damn good one.

What are Bill Murry's Top 3 Grossing Movies of All Time?
(See The Answer Below)

ANGUS TURNS 70

The first time I laid ears on AC/DC, was in 1977 when WDVE in Pittsburgh played "Let There Be Rock". I was cruising around in my 1974 Pontiac Grand Prix with modified Marshall Bass Amps I had hooked up to my car stereo and the volume went all the way up. As you can imagine, the windows started to shake so I rolled them down so the whole fucking world could hear this band who ripped a hole in my soul like Led Zeppelin did the first time I heard them.

I immediately went to the record store and picked up the album and took it home to record on a cassette. I couldn't wait to play it for the gang of degenerates I called friends at the time. When I did...I got a resounding "THEY SUCK" from them. I remember saying, this band is going to be the biggest fucking band on planet earth someday and I believed it. It turns out I was right and probably why I spent my life programming music on radio stations. I always had a great ear for what would become mass appeal and what wouldn't and why.

On March 31st, AC/DC lead guitarist Angus Young, turns 70 and he's still duck walking on stage playing the AC/DC catalogue. He has all the money he could ever use so you know he does it for the love. Had he been in it for the money, AC/DC would have vanished after Bon Scott's death or at least after "Back In Black".

I kind of feel like AC/DC has been the soundtrack of my life and I'm sure I am not alone. All AC/DC fans have a special story to tell about how the band impacted their life. I saw AC/DC live twice with Bon and twice with Brian Johnson and every show was full of energy and was balls to the wall. The thing that always blew me away about the band was how short everyone was. When I saw them live, they didn't seem small to me but when I saw their heigh chart in a magazine once, it blew my mind that these little fuckers has so much force and power behind them, they seemed ten feet tall on stage.

Here is the embarrassing part. I've never been one to read lyrics and took them for face value how I heard them. The last time I saw AC/DC with Bon Scott was in Wheeling, West Virginia and he died a few weeks later. When Back In Black came out and I heard "Have A Drink On Me" for years I thought the opening lyric was West Virginia Brandy with a Glass is Pretty Handy, because I read somewhere that Bon got ripped on Moonshine and Moonshine was called West Virginia Brandy. I guess we hear what he choose to hear because when I looked at the lyrics 25 years later, I saw the lyrics Whiskey, Gin and Brandy....and let me say it takes a hell of a man to admit when he's been wrong for 25 years.

At the end of the day I just want to say Happy Birthday Angus Young and thanks for all the Rock to bottom knock to.

The Rat's Ass Podcast

Now features battles between the Top rated radio stations in America.

Every week I will select two stations from different cities and post an hour of their music.

I will play judge & jury to select a winner based on my programming background.

Let's See If You Agree!

Winners are determined by music familiarity, variety, era balance, music quantity, core artist distribution,

market ranking based on Nielsen ratings, and station image as a tie breaker.

FORMAT

Adult Hits

STATIONS

KBPA/Austin Vs KJKK/Dallas

3.21.25 @ 3pm

Sixspence None The Richer- Kiss Me
Van Halen- Jump

UB40- Red Red Wine

Sublime- Santeria
KC And The Sunshine Band- Get Down Tonight

Twisted Sister- We're Not Gonna Take It
Train/Drops Of Jupitar
Spin Doctors- Two Princes

Tom Tom Club- Genius Of Love

Stevie Nicks- Stand Back

Blue Oyster Cult- Don't Fear The Reaper

Cher- Believe

Clash- Rock The Casbah

Alanis Morissette- You Learn

Stevie Nicks- Edge Of Seventeen

Warren G/Nate Dogg- Regulate
Kansas- Carry On My Wayward Son
Twenty One Pilots- Heathens
Prince- When Doves Cry
Lit- My Own Worst Enemy
Beastie Boys- (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right
Spin Doctors- Two Princes

Foghat- Slow Ride

Imagine Dragons- Enemy (From The League Of Legends)
Michael Jackson- Thriller
Nirvana- Lithium

WINNER

KBPA/AUSTIN

PAY BALL!

Major League Baseball gets underway this week, even though the Dodgers and Cubs kicked off the season in Japan last week. WTF....baseball is an American sport and those games should have been exhibition games not regular season games. it really put me in a bad mood. I guess it was kiss Shohei Ohtani week. I'm over it now, but this globalization shit needs to stop unless it's an exhibition game or games.

All 30 teams will now get into the action and it's going to be an exciting season. The one thing I can guarantee you about baseball is you'll always see something you've never seen before and over a 162 game schedule what you expect to happen usually doesn't or the Yankees and Dodgers would playa in the World Series every year.

The thing you have to understand about baseball is even though there are 162 games. Only 52 games determine the outcome of a season. The teams that play the best during a 52 game stretch will make the playoffs. The reason is every team will win 55 games and lose 55 games. It all depends on when they play the games that determines who makes the playoffs.

I have been a die hard Cincinnati Reds fan since I was old enough to hold a baseball and I'm picking them as the team to watch this season. They are the most balanced team in baseball from a pitching, hitting, defense, speed and hitting for power in a ballpark made for hitting homers. They also have minor league depth when it comes to pitching, so I can't but help my Reds will win the National League Central division barring no serious injuries to key players.

Just for fun, I'm going to pick my division winners for this season. I've been doing them every year since I was 7 or 8 and have never gotten it right yet.

American League

East: Boston Redsox

Central: Kansas City Royals
West: Houston Astros

National League
East: Philadelphia Phillies

Central: Cincinnati Reds

West; Los Angeles Dodgers

Will this be the year I finally get them all right? We'll find out in October. Play Ball!

* SOS sources are various sex and relationship based publications.

There are three sides to everyone's personality.

1 Public Side

2 Private Side

3 Secret Side

The Top 10 Sexually Active Countries

1 Greece

2 Brazil

3 Russia

4 China

5 Poland

6 Italy

7 Malaysia

8 Spain

9 Switzerland

10. Mexico

Why Men Prefer Doggy Style

1 It's The Best Position For A Man With A Small Penis

2 Easier To Hit Her G Spot

3 It's Great For Quickies

8 Signs A Woman Might Want To Sleep With You

1 She hints that she lives alone.

2 She invites you to her place.

3 She turns up the heat during a conversation.

4 Her body language changes around you.

5 Her text messages take a more flirtatious, sometimes suggestive turn.

6 She gets physically close.

7 She shares personal and intimate details about her life.

8 She laughs a lot with you.

Zodiac Signs Ranked Based On Sexual Performance

1 Libra

2 Virgo

3 Leo

4 Pisces

5 Aquarius

6 Scorpio

7 Taurus

8 Aries

9 Capricorn

10 Sagittarius

11 Gemini

12 Cancer

The 5 Places To Touch Your Lady That Will Drive Her Crazy

1 Run Your Hands Through Her Hair

2 Rub Her Feet

3 Caress Her Inner Thighs

4 Kiss Her Neck & Ears

5 Worship Her Butt Cheeks

Men's Rules for Flirting

1 Ignore her looks

2 Tease, but don't insult

3 Flirt with your body language

4 Use her name sparingly

5 Make her laugh

6 Don't over compliment

7 Be curious about her

8 Use a light playful touch

9 Be playful, not serious

10 Avoid trying too hard

11 Let her talk

12 Leave her wanting more

15 Signs She Loves You

1.She Cooks for You

2 She is Loyal

3 She Listens To You

4 She Communicates

5 She is Clingy

6 Her friends know you
7 She's Submissive

8 Blocks her Ex and all of her male friends on Social Media

9 She wants a family with You

10 She gives you gifts

11 She's excited to see you

12 She texts you a lot and replies instantly

13 She tries protecting you

14 She pleases you

15 She says I love you

10 Green Flags That Say She's The Right Woman

1 Believes in God

2 Loves children and pets

3 Enjoys cooking

4 Takes care of her appearance

5 Dresses modestly

6 Keeps her house clean

7 Doesn't drink or smoke

8 Doesn't go clubbing

9 No Tattoos

10 Not a feminist

Openers To Get A Girls Phone Number In 2 Minutes

1. Hey, you look familiar, have we met before?

2. Wait, don't tell me you're one of those people who put pineapple on pizza?

3. I'd like to stay and chat but I'm already late. I'd like to continue our conversation, let's trade numbers...

4. Quick question before I go, you look like an adventurous person, i have an idea for you. What's your number and I'll text it to you later.

5. I don't normally do this, but you seem cool person I'd enjoy texting. Let's exchange numbers and if you're boring I can block you!

8 Reasons You Should Never Date or Marry a Single Mom

1. She Is Never Available

2. Your Dead Last On Her List

3. Her Baby Daddy Is Always In The Picture

4. She Thinks The World Revolves Around Her

5. She's Emotionally Unavailable

6. Her Kids Are Your Competition

7. Her Kids Will Dislike You

8. They Are Professional Victims

8 Reasons Why Women Fall Out Of Love

1. She's getting more attention from someone else.

2. He won't fight fair.

3. He doesn't stand up for her.

4. She's not feeling appreciated

5. He doesn't make her laugh anymore

6. Lack of support.

7. She is feeling trapped

8. Lack of intimacy

7 Signs That A Guy Or A Girl Is A Total Whack Job

1. They want to know your whereabouts at all times.

2. They gets infuriated by insignificant details.

3. They lies incessantly

4. They exhibit a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde behavior

5. They never take responsibility for anything

6. They crave constant attention

7. They're a drama King/Queen

5 Signs A Woman Might Be Promiscuous

1. She has tattoos, nose rings, daddy issues and plays the victim.

2. Drinks, smokes and party's like it's her job.

3. Has Too Many Male Friends

4. Too many girls night out events or girls only vacations

5. Is friends with men on Facebook and other social media platforms from her past.
It could be someone she dated, had a crush on in high school or college.

What's Bigger? Circumcised Or Uncircumcised?

A Swiss medical study has determined after examining 10,000 men who were either circumcised or uncircumcised that men with uncircumcised penis are on average 1-2 inches larger than men who are circumcised.

2025

AWARDS

(So Far)

WHOOPI GOLDBERG

Congratulations to Whoopi Goldberg from ABC's The View on winning the first Dumbass Award for 2025. During a discussion with her co-hosts, Goldberg made it known she thought First Lady Jill Biden was an excellent doctor, as in a doctor who practices medicine and sees patients. The look on Whoopi's face when her cohosts told her Jill has a PHD in Education, not medicine was priceless. Clearly Whoopi Goldberg is a DUMBASS!

DAVID MUIR

Congratulations to ABC News Anchor David Muir, on winning this weeks Dumbass Award! Muir was caught using clothes pins to tighten his foe fireman's jacket to make him look for svelte for TV while covering the Pacific Palisades fire in Los Angeles. A producer probably made the gesture but Muir went a long with it. Next time try finding a jacket that fits DUMBASS!

SLUMLORD GAVIN NEWSOM

Congratulations to California Slumlord Governor Gavin Newsom on winning this week's Dumbass Award for blaming everyone but himself for the Wild Fires in Los Angeles. Newsome ignorantly drew a line in the sand after Donald Trump won the Presidential election by peacocking and saying he had Trump proofed California by protecting illegals coming across the California boarder. Now Newsom needs Donald Trump to bail his ass out of billions of dollars in federal aid. Good luck with that DUMBASS!

THE JACKASS PARTY

Congratulations to every petty Democrat who gave Donald Trump shit for moving the inauguration indoors and winning this weeks Dumbass Award! After weather professionals warned against freezing temperatures and potential frost bite, these morons thought they were being cool but ended up looking like a fool. This is the kind of stupidity we've had to deal with for the past 4 years and why no Democrat should ever see the inside of the White House again. DUMBASSES!

Cherelle Parker

Imagine being the Mayor of Philadelphia, one of the Top 5 largest cities in the United States, and when put in the position of supporting her hometown team, the Philadelphia Eagles, she spells Eagles, "E-L-G-L-E-S". I could give her the benefit of the doubt and say, well maybe that's how Black people spell Eagles but I won't. Cherelle is straight up stupid and probably shouldn't be the Mayor of a city like Philadelphia. Therefore, Parker wins this weeks Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award for not being able to spell Eagles correctly. DUMBASS!

Don Lemon

Congratulations to Ex CNN TV Talker Don Lemon, on winning a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award for calling Donald Trump a DEI President. Trump took a million dollars and turned it into a multi billion dollar real estate empire in New York and became President of the United States not once, but twice. Plus Trump was elected and not hired. WTF has Don Lemon ever done besides getting fired by the lowest rated news network in America? He was one of the reason CNN has been a failure. DUMBASS!

ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ

Congratulations to U.S. Representative from New York, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) on picking up a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award. Ocasio-Cortez recently stated that Elon Musk, the richest man in the world, was "one of the most unintelligent billionaires she has ever seen". Yes, the man who invented Pay Pal, brought the EV brand Tesla to market, sends rockets in to outer-space that land themselves and owns X is an idiot. Only a moron who bought an Elon Musk Tesla, would make this kind of stupid statement when all she has accomplished is serving booze to drunks and luckily won an election. DUMBASS!

AYANNA PRESSLEY

Congratulations to Massachusetts congresswoman Ayanna Pressley, on picking up a Rat's ass Podcast Dumbass Award. This week Pressley exposed what the Democratic party's real agenda is when she said, "we are all willing to work with anyone who is serious about doing the work of censoring the American people". There is no walking back a statement like that and while Pressley, who stands out with her bald head, was being honest...she's still a DUMBASS!

HAKEEM JEFFREIS

Congratulations to Democratic Leader Hakeem "Dime Store Obama" Jeffries on winning a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award for complaining about the high prices his party created over the past four years not coming down during the first 27 days of Donald Trump's Presidency. Any moron knows it took the Democrats four years to cause inflation, deflation will take more than a month to fix. DUMBASS!

TOM HANKS

Congratulations to Actor Tom Hanks on winning a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award for attempting to stereotype Trump MAGA supporters as looking like Democrats wearing a MAGA hat during a skit on Saturday Night Live's 50 year anniversary special. Hanks was met with a well deserved backlash. DUMBASS!

VOLODYMYR ZELENSKYY

Congratulations to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy on winning a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award for mistaking Donald Trump for Joe Biden, and disrespected the Untied States in the Oval Office. He attempted to dictate terms for the United States involvement in trying to end the war between Ukraine and Russia. Trump was right...Zelenskyy has no cards to play and made a fool out of himself. DUMBASS!

AL GREEN

Congratulations to Texas Representative Al Green (D) on winning a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award for disrupting President Trump's Congressional address by heckling him and getting removed from the Congressional chamber. Green was later Censured for his actions and he accomplished nothing accept for looking like a DUMBASS!

SLUMLORD GAVIN NEWSOM

Congratulations to California Slumlord Governor Gavin Newsom for becoming the first two time winner of the Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award. Newsom spent $100,000.00 to have a bronze bust of himself created and placed inside San Francisco City Hall where he was unfortunately once Mayor. This ego on this empty suited tyrant is beyond vanity. If Newsome could suck himself he would. DUMBASS!

TIM "NO BALLS" WALZ

Congratulations to Minnesota Governor and ex Vice Presidential candidate Tampon Tim "No Balls" Walz on winning a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass award for acting like a tough guy saying he could kick anyone in the GOP's ass, when he's a cream puff. Tim also cheered Tesla's stock price for going down when the state of Minnesota has 1.6 million shares of Tesla stock in it's state pension fund. What a colossal DUMBASS!

ANSWER

The Jungle Book, Ghostbusters, and Charlies Angels

The Rat's Ass Podcast

A division of Mark Elliott Media, LLC, Los Angeles, CA

Rat's Ass Podcast

Monday, March 24, 2025

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