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Welcome My Fiends...
The Rat's Ass Podcast with Mojo Elliott,
is a humorous, interactive, and topic driven cast loaded with loose behavior.
Email: ratsasspodcast@gmail.com
You'll get the latest topicality from current events, pop culture, music, sports, relationship dilemma's plus some weird factoids.
New Episodes post every Monday, Wednesday & Friday
Look for the Rat's Ass Podcast on the Socials
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THE CHEESE: Shall We Play A Game?
ENTERTAINMENT: We Lost A Legend
MUSIC: Top 10 Rock Debut Albums
RADIO WARS: KGLK/Houston Vs WMGK/Philadelphia
SPORTS: Hoops Be Happening!
SPORTS: Hoops Be Happening!
SPEAKING OF SEX: The Differences Between Blondes and Brunettes
2025 DUMBASS AWARDS (So Far)
2025 DUMBASS AWARDS (So Far)
RAT'S ASS PODCAST
My name is Mojo Elliott, an ex radio programming guru and morning personality from Los Angeles.
After leaving the radio business in 2022, I took a couple of years off and now I'm a podcasting pro and blogging ho.
The Rat's Ass Podcast gives me the opportunity to interact with fiends from all over the world looking to escape reality and engage in some loose behavior. It's not for the easily offended, the woke, or politically correct cultures.
The Rat's Ass Podcast is for normal free thinking individuals who don't give a rat's ass about what other people think.
Email me your observations, questions and opinions to
The more outrageous and salacious the better and I'll respond to them on the podcast.
NO TOPIC IS OFF THE TABLE
Welcome to Rat Nation, the Rat's Ass Podcast listener club. When you sign up, you're eligible to receive free gifts and cool stuff from our growing stash of goods and services. The bigger our membership gets, the bigger the gifts, goods and services become. Our goal is to offer a continuous giveaway of hot tickets, cool trips, and cash among other things, but we need you to sign up to become one of the few and the loud at Rat Nation to make it happen.
To sign up for a free Rat Nation membership, go to our home page and click on
Rat Nation on the drop down menu, and tell us who you are.
MEMBERSHIP HAS IT'S REWARDS
The Rat's Ass Podcast looks forward to meeting you.
The Rat's Ass Podcast looks forward to meeting you.
THE
SHALL WE PLAY A GAME?
One of the features I like to do on the Rat's Ass Podcast is called "Head Trauma" where I toss out a question from one of eight categories every episode. As it stands, we give out the question and give you the answer later in the podcast. The exciting news is as we build Rat Nation, we are going to eventually call contestants from our database to play and add more entertainment value to the podcast. Go join Rat Nation and we could be calling you in the future and yes, big prizes will be part of the package from our stash of Hot Tickets, Cool Trips, and Cash but we need 1,000 members before we can get the ball rolling.
At the beginning of 2025, I offered up questions from ten different categories, but I've narrowed the rotation down to the eight strongest categories with a potential random category that will differ from episode to episode.
Here is a list of the categories that are featured during a round of Head Trauma so you'll know how to play along when you're listening to the Rat's Ass Podcast.
Total Recall - We give you 3 historical events and you have to put them in the order they happened first to last.
The Secret Sound- This one is simple, I will play a sound and you have to guess what it is.
I Start It...You Finish It- This is a general trivia question based on percentages.
Sounds Dirty But It's Not- I give out 3 clues that sound dirty to describe the answer and you have to figure it out.
The Screen Test- This is nothing more than a show biz quiz involving either TV or Movies.
Pick Your News- I'll give you 4 news headlines and you have to tell me which headline is true.
Sprain Your Brain- The name spells it out. If you can get this challenging question correct, chances are you have a high IQ.
The Mystery Voice- The name says it all, I will play a clip from someone famous and you have to guess who the person is that said it.
You never know what category of Head Trauma we'll be playing on the Rat's Ass Podcast but you can always listen on demand @ ratsasspodcast.com on Alexa and most podcast apps.
WE LOST A LEGEND
The first movie I saw starring Val Kilmer was Top Secret in 1984 and I wasn't impressed. At the time I thought it was the most ridiculous movie I had ever seen. I thought is was a piss poor rip off of the Airplane movie concept.
When Real Genius was released in 1985, I took a pass and I still haven't seen it. Then I wen to see Top Gun in 1986, and was blown away by Kilmer's performance as "Iceman". In full discloser I went to see a Tom Cruise film. Cruise had made Risky Business, The Outsiders, and All The Right Moves. He was the draw but by the end of Top Gun, Val Kilmer stood out. most to me. He was no longer Top Secret.
Then Kilmer made a few movies from 1987-1990 that didn't capture my interest and when I went to see The Doors movie, I was curious to see how Kilmer would play Jim Morrison and he hit it out of the park. You know an actor is good when you believe they really are the character they play. So many actors play the same character movie after movie. Denzel Washington is one of those actors. Robert DeNiro is another one and to a certain extent so is Al Pacino. All three made significant contributions to film. When Val Kilmer took on a roll, he became the character and you forgot it was Val playing the roll.
After The Doors came Heat, Tombstone, and The Saint. All terrific movies and along the way he made a lot of movies that didn't hit the mark but for his part, he did a magnificent job in every film he was a part of.
Kilmer was born in Los Angeles on December 31st, 1959 and was active in film from 1984-2014 when he was diagnosed with throat cancer and he was forced to have surgery and use a voice box. When he did revised his character Iceman in Top Gun: Maverick, his voice was digitally altered and that was his final performance on screen. What a way to go out and call it a career. I would have to say Val Kilmer is arguably one of the top three actors from my generation. I'm sure he turned down a lot of roles in movies that were bigger box office hits than some of his other choices, but Kilmer also had a reputation of being difficult to deal with which may have cost him a few role too.
I recall the final scene in Tombstone where he played the roll of lifetime as Doc Holliday where he died at the end of tuberculosis and his final words were "this is funny". We may never know Val Kilmer's final words but I'll always wonder in his final moments if he thought about that scene in Tombstone. Val Kilmer was only 65.
What movie starred Val Kilmer as Simon Templar?
(See The Answer Below)
TOP 10 ROCK DEBUT ALBUMS
One of the greatest debates in Rock is who had the best debut album of all time. I could settle this debate by simply looking at what band sold the most debut albums and Boston's debut album in 1976 would win hands down. If I did this it would eliminate every album from the 90's because from a sales standpoint, no 90's debut album is in the Top 25. What makes a great conversation is when your list of Top 10 debut Rock albums and we compare yours with mine.
I am going to give you my Top 10 and I would enjoy seeing your Top 10 list of the best Rock debut albums of all time. Send them to ratsasspodcast@gmail.com
1 Led Zeppelin I
2 Van Halen Van Halen
3 Pearl Jam Ten
4 Boston
2 Van Halen Van Halen
3 Pearl Jam Ten
4 Boston
5 Guns N' Roses Appetite For Destruction
6 Tool Undertow
7 Foreigner
8 Stone Temple Pilots Core
9 Metallica Kill'em All
10 Aerosmith Aerosmith
6 Tool Undertow
7 Foreigner
8 Stone Temple Pilots Core
9 Metallica Kill'em All
10 Aerosmith Aerosmith
At the end of the day, the only Top 10 list that matters is yours and mine because it's representative of how music has touched each of us and believe it or not, it tells part of our personal stories and if you really want to get in the weeds on this, what is your favorite track on each of your Top 10 debut albums. If you want to go deeper, list your Top 10 albums of time and your favorite song off those albums. Each song will remind you of where you were and what you were up to at that stage of your life.
I look forward to seeing your list of the Top 10 Rock debut albums.
Now features battles between the Top rated radio stations in America.
Every week I will select two stations from different cities and post an hour of their music.
I will play judge & jury to select a winner based on my programming background.
Let's See If You Agree!
Winners are determined by music familiarity, variety, era balance, music quantity, core artist distribution,
market ranking based on Nielsen ratings, and station image as a tie breaker.
FORMAT
CLASSIC ROCK
STATIONS
KGLK/Houston Vs WMGK/Philadelphia
4.3.25 @ 3pm
4.3.25 @ 3pm
Led Zeppelin/Heartbreaker/Living Loving Maid
Boston- More Than A Feeling
The Eagles- Long Run
Tom Petty/Heartbreakers- Don't Come Around Here No More
Boston- More Than A Feeling
The Eagles- Long Run
Tom Petty/Heartbreakers- Don't Come Around Here No More
Pink Floyd- Comfortably Numb
The Outfield- Your Love
The Police- Every Little Thing She Does
The Cars- Just What I Needed
Honeymoon Suite- Feel It Again
Joan Jett/Blackhearts- I Love Rock n' Roll
Bad Company- Can't Get Enough
Honeymoon Suite- Feel It Again
Joan Jett/Blackhearts- I Love Rock n' Roll
Bad Company- Can't Get Enough
Boston- More Than A Feeling
Boston- Don't Look Back
Boston- Amanda
Queen- Another One Bites The Dust
Boston- Don't Look Back
Boston- Amanda
Queen- Another One Bites The Dust
Billy Joel- Movin' Out
The Scorpions- Rock You Like A Hurricane
The Doors- Light My Fire
The Rolling Stones- Miss You
Billy Idol- Dancing With Myself
Lynyrd Skynyrd- Simple Man
Twisted Sister- We're Not Gonna Take It
The Doors- Light My Fire
The Rolling Stones- Miss You
Billy Idol- Dancing With Myself
Lynyrd Skynyrd- Simple Man
Twisted Sister- We're Not Gonna Take It
WINNER
KGLK/HOUSTON
HOOPS BE HAPPENING!
The NBA Playoffs get underway on April 19th and with only a few weeks to go, we have a pretty good idea as to who will be making the playoffs, we're just not sure where they'll finish in the standings to decide who is playing who.
In the Eastern Conference, the teams making the playoffs will be Cleveland, Boston, New York, Indiana, Detroit, Milwaukee, Atlanta, Orlando, Chicago, and Miami. The East only has a handful of teams who will challenge for the right to play in the NBA Finals and the others only have a chance if they pull the upset. The favorite in the East is Boston, the defending NBA Champions, even though Cleveland will end up with the best record in the East. The New York Knicks and Indiana Pacers also have an outside chance of making it to the finals, but that's about it.
In the Western Conference, the teams making the playoffs will be Oklahoma City, Houston, Denver, Los Angeles Lakers, Memphis, Los Angeles Clippers, Golden State, Minnesota, and the final two playoffs spots still to be decided belong to Sacramento, Dallas, and Phoenix. In the West, Oklahoma City is the favorite but there are seven other teams who could possibly beat Oklahoma City in a seven game series making the Western Conference playoffs must see TV.
When the regular season ends the NBA will enter the play in situation where the bottom 4 teams in each conference have a mini playoff to determine who finishes in the top eight positions and then it will break down at 1 vs 8, 2 vs 7, 3 vs 6 and 4 vs 5. The hardest matchup is always the 4 vs 5 series because these teams are generally equally matched. The play in is win one game or your out and then the final 16 teams will participate in the seven game series format.
At this point, it's looking like a Cleveland Cavaliers versus Oklahoma City Thunder finals which the NBA doesn't want to see. As the fan base for the NBA has been dwindling in recent years, the NBA would like nothing more than a Lakers Versus Celtics final to juice ratings, but the way the NBA is structured, any two of the sixteen teams making the playoffs could unseat the favorites.
It is still way too early to make predictions and I will wait to see how teams are playing headed into the playoffs before I offer up any predictions.
* SOS sources are various sex and relationship based publications.
There are three sides to everyone's personality.
1 Public Side
2 Private Side
3 Secret Side
The Top 10 Sexually Active Countries
1 Greece
2 Brazil
3 Russia
4 China
5 Poland
6 Italy
7 Malaysia
8 Spain
9 Switzerland
10. Mexico
Why Men Prefer Doggy Style
1 It's The Best Position For A Man With A Small Penis
2 Easier To Hit Her G Spot
3 It's Great For Quickies
8 Signs A Woman Might Want To Sleep With You
1 She hints that she lives alone.
2 She invites you to her place.
3 She turns up the heat during a conversation.
4 Her body language changes around you.
5 Her text messages take a more flirtatious, sometimes suggestive turn.
6 She gets physically close.
7 She shares personal and intimate details about her life.
8 She laughs a lot with you.
Zodiac Signs Ranked Based On Sexual Performance
1 Libra
2 Virgo
3 Leo
4 Pisces
5 Aquarius
6 Scorpio
7 Taurus
8 Aries
9 Capricorn
10 Sagittarius
11 Gemini
12 Cancer
The 5 Places To Touch Your Lady That Will Drive Her Crazy
1 Run Your Hands Through Her Hair
2 Rub Her Feet
3 Caress Her Inner Thighs
4 Kiss Her Neck & Ears
5 Worship Her Butt Cheeks
Men's Rules for Flirting
1 Ignore her looks
2 Tease, but don't insult
3 Flirt with your body language
4 Use her name sparingly
5 Make her laugh
6 Don't over compliment
7 Be curious about her
8 Use a light playful touch
9 Be playful, not serious
10 Avoid trying too hard
11 Let her talk
12 Leave her wanting more
15 Signs She Loves You
1.She Cooks for You
2 She is Loyal
3 She Listens To You
4 She Communicates
5 She is Clingy
6 Her friends know you
7 She's Submissive
7 She's Submissive
8 Blocks her Ex and all of her male friends on Social Media
9 She wants a family with You
10 She gives you gifts
11 She's excited to see you
12 She texts you a lot and replies instantly
13 She tries protecting you
14 She pleases you
15 She says I love you
10 Green Flags That Say She's The Right Woman
1 Believes in God
2 Loves children and pets
3 Enjoys cooking
4 Takes care of her appearance
5 Dresses modestly
6 Keeps her house clean
7 Doesn't drink or smoke
8 Doesn't go clubbing
9 No Tattoos
10 Not a feminist
Openers To Get A Girls Phone Number In 2 Minutes
1. Hey, you look familiar, have we met before?
2. Wait, don't tell me you're one of those people who put pineapple on pizza?
3. I'd like to stay and chat but I'm already late. I'd like to continue our conversation, let's trade numbers...
4. Quick question before I go, you look like an adventurous person, i have an idea for you. What's your number and I'll text it to you later.
5. I don't normally do this, but you seem cool person I'd enjoy texting. Let's exchange numbers and if you're boring I can block you!
8 Reasons You Should Never Date or Marry a Single Mom
1. She Is Never Available
2. Your Dead Last On Her List
3. Her Baby Daddy Is Always In The Picture
4. She Thinks The World Revolves Around Her
5. She's Emotionally Unavailable
6. Her Kids Are Your Competition
7. Her Kids Will Dislike You
8. They Are Professional Victims
8 Reasons Why Women Fall Out Of Love
1. She's getting more attention from someone else.
2. He won't fight fair.
3. He doesn't stand up for her.
4. She's not feeling appreciated
5. He doesn't make her laugh anymore
6. Lack of support.
7. She is feeling trapped
8. Lack of intimacy
7 Signs That A Guy Or A Girl Is A Total Whack Job
1. They want to know your whereabouts at all times.
2. They gets infuriated by insignificant details.
3. They lies incessantly
4. They exhibit a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde behavior
5. They never take responsibility for anything
6. They crave constant attention
7. They're a drama King/Queen
5 Signs A Woman Might Be Promiscuous
1. She has tattoos, nose rings, daddy issues and plays the victim.
2. Drinks, smokes and party's like it's her job.
3. Has Too Many Male Friends
4. Too many girls night out events or girls only vacations
5. Is friends with men on Facebook and other social media platforms from her past.
It could be someone she dated, had a crush on in high school or college.
What's Bigger? Circumcised Or Uncircumcised?
It could be someone she dated, had a crush on in high school or college.
What's Bigger? Circumcised Or Uncircumcised?
A Swiss study of 10,000 men circumcised and uncircumcised has determined uncircumcised men are on average 1-2 inches bigger than circumcised men.
What Size Boobs Do Men Prefer?
A recent poll on X asked men what size boobs they preferred on a woman and offered the choices of 32D, 34 D, 36 D, and 38D. After more than 12,000 responses, 73% of men said they prefer 34D as their preference followed by 36D, 32D and 38D.
A recent poll on X asked men what size boobs they preferred on a woman and offered the choices of 32D, 34 D, 36 D, and 38D. After more than 12,000 responses, 73% of men said they prefer 34D as their preference followed by 36D, 32D and 38D.
The Differences Between Blondes And Brunettes
1 Blondes take longer to get ready to go out than Brunettes
2 A natural blonde has more hair on her head than a natural Brunette
3 A Blonde server will make more tips than a Brunette server
4 Brunettes are considered to be smarter during a first meeting
5 Brunettes who dye their hair Blonde claim they have more fun
If you're wondering why redheads are not included, it's because redheads have a little Blonde and Brunette in them.
2025
AWARDS
(So Far)
WHOOPI GOLDBERG
Congratulations to Whoopi Goldberg from ABC's The View on winning the first Dumbass Award for 2025. During a discussion with her co-hosts, Goldberg made it known she thought First Lady Jill Biden was an excellent doctor, as in a doctor who practices medicine and sees patients. The look on Whoopi's face when her cohosts told her Jill has a PHD in Education, not medicine was priceless. Clearly Whoopi Goldberg is a DUMBASS!
DAVID MUIR
Congratulations to ABC News Anchor David Muir, on winning this weeks Dumbass Award! Muir was caught using clothes pins to tighten his foe fireman's jacket to make him look for svelte for TV while covering the Pacific Palisades fire in Los Angeles. A producer probably made the gesture but Muir went a long with it. Next time try finding a jacket that fits DUMBASS!
SLUMLORD GAVIN NEWSOM
Congratulations to California Slumlord Governor Gavin Newsom on winning this week's Dumbass Award for blaming everyone but himself for the Wild Fires in Los Angeles. Newsome ignorantly drew a line in the sand after Donald Trump won the Presidential election by peacocking and saying he had Trump proofed California by protecting illegals coming across the California boarder. Now Newsom needs Donald Trump to bail his ass out of billions of dollars in federal aid. Good luck with that DUMBASS!
THE JACKASS PARTY
Congratulations to every petty Democrat who gave Donald Trump shit for moving the inauguration indoors and winning this weeks Dumbass Award! After weather professionals warned against freezing temperatures and potential frost bite, these morons thought they were being cool but ended up looking like a fool. This is the kind of stupidity we've had to deal with for the past 4 years and why no Democrat should ever see the inside of the White House again. DUMBASSES!
Cherelle Parker
Imagine being the Mayor of Philadelphia, one of the Top 5 largest cities in the United States, and when put in the position of supporting her hometown team, the Philadelphia Eagles, she spells Eagles, "E-L-G-L-E-S". I could give her the benefit of the doubt and say, well maybe that's how Black people spell Eagles but I won't. Cherelle is straight up stupid and probably shouldn't be the Mayor of a city like Philadelphia. Therefore, Parker wins this weeks Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award for not being able to spell Eagles correctly. DUMBASS!
Don Lemon
Congratulations to Ex CNN TV Talker Don Lemon, on winning a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award for calling Donald Trump a DEI President. Trump took a million dollars and turned it into a multi billion dollar real estate empire in New York and became President of the United States not once, but twice. Plus Trump was elected and not hired. WTF has Don Lemon ever done besides getting fired by the lowest rated news network in America? He was one of the reason CNN has been a failure. DUMBASS!
ALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ
Congratulations to U.S. Representative from New York, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) on picking up a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award. Ocasio-Cortez recently stated that Elon Musk, the richest man in the world, was "one of the most unintelligent billionaires she has ever seen". Yes, the man who invented Pay Pal, brought the EV brand Tesla to market, sends rockets in to outer-space that land themselves and owns X is an idiot. Only a moron who bought an Elon Musk Tesla, would make this kind of stupid statement when all she has accomplished is serving booze to drunks and luckily won an election. DUMBASS!
AYANNA PRESSLEY
Congratulations to Massachusetts congresswoman Ayanna Pressley, on picking up a Rat's ass Podcast Dumbass Award. This week Pressley exposed what the Democratic party's real agenda is when she said, "we are all willing to work with anyone who is serious about doing the work of censoring the American people". There is no walking back a statement like that and while Pressley, who stands out with her bald head, was being honest...she's still a DUMBASS!
HAKEEM JEFFREIS
Congratulations to Democratic Leader Hakeem "Dime Store Obama" Jeffries on winning a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award for complaining about the high prices his party created over the past four years not coming down during the first 27 days of Donald Trump's Presidency. Any moron knows it took the Democrats four years to cause inflation, deflation will take more than a month to fix. DUMBASS!
TOM HANKS
Congratulations to Actor Tom Hanks on winning a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award for attempting to stereotype Trump MAGA supporters as looking like Democrats wearing a MAGA hat during a skit on Saturday Night Live's 50 year anniversary special. Hanks was met with a well deserved backlash. DUMBASS!
VOLODYMYR ZELENSKYY
Congratulations to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy on winning a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award for mistaking Donald Trump for Joe Biden, and disrespected the Untied States in the Oval Office. He attempted to dictate terms for the United States involvement in trying to end the war between Ukraine and Russia. Trump was right...Zelenskyy has no cards to play and made a fool out of himself. DUMBASS!
AL GREEN
Congratulations to Texas Representative Al Green (D) on winning a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award for disrupting President Trump's Congressional address by heckling him and getting removed from the Congressional chamber. Green was later Censured for his actions and he accomplished nothing accept for looking like a DUMBASS!
SLUMLORD GAVIN NEWSOM
Congratulations to California Slumlord Governor Gavin Newsom for becoming the first two time winner of the Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award. Newsom spent $100,000.00 to have a bronze bust of himself created and placed inside San Francisco City Hall where he was unfortunately once Mayor. This ego on this empty suited tyrant is beyond vanity. If Newsome could suck himself he would. DUMBASS!
TIM "NO BALLS" WALZ
Congratulations to Minnesota Governor and ex Vice Presidential candidate Tampon Tim "No Balls" Walz on winning a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass award for acting like a tough guy saying he could kick anyone in the GOP's ass, when he's a cream puff. Tim also cheered Tesla's stock price for going down when the state of Minnesota has 1.6 million shares of Tesla stock in it's state pension fund. What a colossal DUMBASS!
JUDGE JAMES BOASBERG
Congratulations to Judge James Boasberg on winning a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award for stopping the deportation of illegal aliens who crossed the United States boarder during the Biden Administration with the intent of creating chaos in America, including murder, robbery and rape. Judge Boasberg, believes these illegals have rights and could give a rat's hairy ass about the crimes they've committed against innocent American tax payers making him a complete DUMBASS!
JASMINE CROCKETT
Congratulations to US Representative from Texas, Jasmine Crockett on winning a Rat's Ass Podcast Dumbass Award for supporting the take down of Tesla, who employees over 121,000 people because in her opinion, Elon Musk doesn't fit who she believes is qualified to oversee DOGE, appointed by President Trump to weed out Government waste,, fraud and abuse. This makes Jasmine Crockett a tremendous DUMBASS!
ANSWER
The Rat's Ass Podcast
A division of Mark Elliott Media, LLC, Los Angeles, CA
Copyright 2025
